very funny!

> Dear employees,
> Due to the current financial situation caused by
> the slowdown of economy , Management has decided to
> implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and
> above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE
> (Retire Aged People Early).
> Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to
> management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help
> After Forced Termination) . Persons who have been RAPED and
> SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme
> Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once
> , SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management
> deems appropriate.
> Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS
> (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES
> (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
>
> Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not
> be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
>
> Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will
> receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as
> possible.

LOL